Facing In To The Inevitability Of Death

Photo by Terry Vlisidis on Unsplash

I will never forget those vivid, life-shaking experiences.

At various times during my 20s and 30s, suddenly, from nowhere, the inevitability of my future death would come over me. Whatever I was doing at the time became completely irrelevant, as all I could think about was “At some point I am going to die”.

In this state of total and all-consuming fear, I would often lift up my hands before me, and start to think about my entire body at some point ceasing to have life.

I would describe the state of mind I was in was one of paralysed fear of the inevitability of my death. I would start thinking about how I never have conversations with family or friends about this, and how this experience was so personal and real to me, yet relevant for everyone.

I would stay in this heightened state of being for maybe 30-60 seconds, before I would do something, anything, to suddenly break me out of that state of indescribable fear of dying.

As I am writing these words now on Thursday 19th June 2025, just over 6 years since I passed from death to life when I received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour, I can say that at these moments during my 20s and 30s, I was actually the most alive I had ever been.

So often I had battled with “imposter syndrome”, particularly worrying about the future, with my mind starting to race and overthink through what the enemy was saying to me. In these moments facing in to the actual reality of physical death, I knew with my whole being that this was real fear based upon actual reality of life as human beings.

I Had No Faith Until I Was 41

I wasn’t raised in a Christian family, and throughout my 20s and 30s I didn’t have any of my family, my wife’s family, our friends or my colleagues within my business, who had faith or even spoke about God.

I never had conversations about God, Jesus, eternal life, pain, suffering, sacrifice, surrender, death and life.

Until I was 41 years young I didn’t know I had a soul.

Until I was 41 years young I didn’t know I had a spirit.

Through my 20s and 30s I was living completely based upon being a physical human being that will, at some point, die. There was no thought or understanding about eternal life, and the truth of life itself.

“I Have No Fear Of Dying”

Since Jesus saved my life in 2019, I have spoken to some people who didn’t have faith, who said to me “I have no fear of dying. No fear at all.”

Were they telling me the truth? God knows!

What About You?

Have you ever had, or maybe even recently had, an experience like I used to have?

Maybe you have been wearing a mask to the world, just like I used to do during my 20s and 30s. I certainly didn’t speak to people about being on the verge of committing suicide in my late 30s.

Below are a series of scriptures which may be just what you need at this point in your life right now.

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.

9 But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) 10 And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. 11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

12 Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

Romans 8:1-14

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

Romans 8:38